I love you when...

While I would like to say that the following is a typical morning for us, this scenario is typical of anytime we leave the house, be it 8 a.m. or 5 p.m.  I ask my 4-year-old son to get dressed.  If it is the a.m., he is in is p.j.s.  If it is any time after breakfast, he is typically dressed up as a combo of Spiderman, Ironman, Batman, or any number of Marvel/DC comic icons.  I proceed to shower.  And yes, often times, this happens WAY past when it should.  At this point my 3-year-old daughter is naked or wearing her Elsa dress.  

Me telling my son to get dressed is code for my daughter, "You need to be in your birthday suit, stat."  This would be helpful.  Except that a battle of wills ensues about what I want her to wear, vs what Elsa would wear.  Joshua then dumps out every toy bin, in search of that one thing that he HAS to take to (insert store/obligatory place) for fear that it will cease to exist without his holding it.  I use a very authoritative (ahem) tone to remind my son that he needs to get dressed.  My 3-year-old follows me around, whining hysterically that she needs her hair done NOW so that she can be beautiful while I get ready.  

Genevra wanted to do "selfies" with me. So we started with the angry face.  This is not even close to her angry face, but it is her "grumpy" look.

After tripping over my daughter's weeping, naked body at least 5 times and noting that each time I see my son, he is no closer to retiring his cape than before, I yell that if he does not get dressed, I am going to start counting.  15 minutes later, I inevitably start counting at decibels reserved for the command of great military armies being lead to their impending death.  He hates counting.  This  leads to a great wailing and nashing of teeth from all 3 parties involved. 

After my little diva finally has her wish granted of me doing her hair and the boy has found his clothes in a sea of toys, we make our way to the door.  Without fail, one or both kids are hungry and have to pee.  What would have taken a half hour or less if it were just me getting ready has taken 1.5 hours.  We are 10 minutes late.  Pretty sure my Dr (and everyone at church) would not recognize any of us if we arrived on time.  

There is one sweet part about our ridiculous morning.  I am not sure when or why it started but almost daily, my son, the primary victim of my wrath, approaches me while I am wresting his sister's shoes on (I WANT THE PRINCESS ONES!!!!)  He says, "Mommy, I love you even when you are mad."  The past month or so he had changed it up a bit.  "Mommy, I love you even when you are sad."  Or the one that really makes me feel like a chemical exposed, Hulk parent, "I love you even when you are scary."  I am ashamed to say that this last one has become typical.

This cuts me to the core.  I am not the mom I should be.  Really, no kid should have to say that they love their parent even when they are scary.  In my head, it's okay for me to love my kid when they are being a screaming mess of boogers because they are MY mess of boogers, but my kids are too young to return the favor.  If they hate me (as I probably deserve). while I am yanking them by the appendages to get out the door, I am accepting of that.  Most likely, they will love me once more when I am not the human pressure cooker.

Loving people is hard.  Knowing that they are a child of God helps, but even then, I struggle.  Many times, loving my eternal companion is a struggle.  I thought after 6.5 years of marriage, it would all of the sudden be easy.  Not so.  There is a lot of tolerance and forgiveness that happens on both sides.  But my kids continue to demonstrate to me that they have a Christlike love that transcends my yelling and intolerance for their perpetual ignoring of my requests.  This love isn't required for me to love them.  Yet they show that forgiveness and love toward me that I have yet to give to so many others around me.  The scripture from Mosiah 3:19 has sunk deep into my mind of late:

 For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child,submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.

I can't find the words right now to express exactly what I am trying to convey.  I let the natural man rule on SO many occasions.  My children love me, even when I am far removed from showing them the compassion and patience they deserve.  They set a standard of submissiveness, patience, and love in our home that I one day hope to emulate.  

I know why the Lord asks us to become like children.  They demonstrate what we work so hard to become and fall short of everyday: close to Christ and His unconditional love.